How to deal with loneliness after a break-up or loss

If you've ever gone through a break-up-or lost someone you deeply loved-you probably know this feeling: loneliness. A heaviness that creeps in, especially on sunny days when couples are walking hand in hand. During holidays or family gatherings, it can hit even harder. You look around and wonder will I ever feel truly connected with someone again?

Well, you are at least not alone in this feeling ;)

Why does loneliness feel so intense after a break-up?

A break-up, especially after a long or close relationship, is more than just the end of a love story. It's a shock to your nervous system.

You've built a rhythm together. Sharing a home, making plans, supporting each other through the day-to-day. Suddenly, that rhythm stops. Your daily life resets, and you're left making decisions, dinners, and evenings alone. The person who gave you a sense of safety is gone. And everything that felt secure might now feel uncertain.

This can trigger deep feelings of aloneness, fear, and insecurity. It's common to worry whether you'll ever find connection again.

I've went through times were I felt super lonely. And here are two things that helped me, and might help you-on the path to deal with loneliness:

1. Learning that being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely.

In the beginning, I didn't see the difference. After my break-up, every moment alone: coming home after work, eating dinner, going to bed-felt heavy with sadness. But over time, something shifted.

One of the most healing things I did was allowing the loneliness to be fully felt. When the emotion hit me, I stopped distracting myself. I would sit down, let the tears come, and feel into the sensation. Where in my body does this hurt? What is this sadness trying to say? I even wrote down what I felt.

By letting the wave move through me, I discovered something powerful: loneliness is most of the time a fear. A fear that I'd always be alone. And once I faced that fear, I started to experience peace in my own presence.

That's when I began to understand: I could be alone without feeling lonely.

2. Opening up to new connections

Another part of healing came when I realized I needed new people in my life. Not to replace what I lost, but to remind me that connection with new people is still possible. Even at an older age.

After my long-term relationship ended, many of my friends were busy with their own families. And I had just moved to a new city where I didn't know many people. So I took a step that felt scary at first: I put myself out there.

I joined a beach volleyball group; just to move, play, and meet others. I also started reaching out to colleagues more after work. Slowly but surely, new friendships began to form. It wasn't instant, but every small connection was like a lifeline, reminding me: I'm not alone in this world.

5 Practical tips for when you experience loneliness after a break-up:

If you're navigating this space right now, here are some simple things that might support you:

1. Create a daily check-in ritual

Take 5 minutes each day to ask yourself: How am I feeling? What do I need today? It helps you stay grounded in your own presence.

2. Schedule small social moments

A short coffee with a colleague, a walk with a neighbor, or even a message exchange with an old friend can go a long way.

3. Start something new (even small!)

Whether it's a hobby, a class, or a volunteering opportunity-doing something unfamiliar puts you in touch with new people and parts of yourself.

4. Move your body

Loneliness often sits in the body. Gentle movement-yoga, walking, dancing-can help emotions move too.

5. Reach out for support

Whether through a coach, therapist, or healing session, you don't have to do this alone. There are people ready to hold space for you.